Why do we volunteer?

Why do we volunteer?

In almost every case, those who volunteer express a desire to give what they’re capable of to a cause that is meaningful to them—and to make a difference along the way.

The process of connecting a volunteer to the opportunity that fits them best has always been fascinating to me. With scores of possibilities available in every community, how does one choose where to offer their time and talents?

There are plenty of reasons or situations that motivate a person to lend a helping hand: school or civic group requirements, kids in school/empty nesters/newly retired with time on their hands, a friend’s experience or a professional-development opportunity, among others.

There’s also an important self-motivated aspect: Volunteers (consciously or unconsciously) want to get something out of their experience.

We’ve all heard the refrain that volunteers receive more than they give. But what exactly are they receiving?

Cleaning can help with stress

Cleaning can help with stress

My mother has become a cleaning and organizing machine. Ever since my father died she has been cleaning closets, purging files, organizing shelves and rearranging furniture.

The fact is, her home has always been immaculate. My sisters and I joke that we could eat off the floor.

For years my mother has systematically pared down her possessions by giving stuff to others, selling items at yard sales and donating to charity. And my mother’s organizational skills rival those of Martha Stewart.

So why this sudden extra energetic spurt of tidiness?

I think several things are at work (besides my mother).

Whether it is a conscious thing or not, I suspect that my mother is feeling a level of anxiety as a new widow. A spouse’s death can trigger stress.

Remember: REAL ID will be required for air travel

Remember: REAL ID will be required for air travel

My current driver’s license will expire in July of this year. I’m eligible to renew online, but if I do, I will receive a federally restricted license that will not be considered a valid form of identification to board a domestic flight in the future.

As of October 2020, a new type of license, called REAL ID, will be required to board all U.S. flights and to enter certain federal facilities. A REAL ID card is a federally approved card that will be accepted by Transportation Security Administration (TSA) officials at the airport.

Since California driver’s licenses expire every five years, it makes sense for me to apply for a REAL ID with this upcoming renewal. But this needs to be done in person.

I was unfamiliar with REAL ID and the deadline until a friend pointed it out to me. I would have thought I was so efficient renewing online, only to find out later that I, along with millions of other Californians, will want to obtain a REAL ID in the next two years.

Planning for pets if you can’t be there for them

Planning for pets if you can’t be there for them

My husband and I did some “just in case” planning recently before an upcoming trip. We asked our trusted pet sitter and friend if she would be willing to care for our dog should anything happen to us. We made sure she realized it might be for just a short while but could also be long-term.

Fortunately for us, she said yes.

Each year millions of animals are placed in shelters due to the illness or death of their owners. Fewer than 20 percent of seniors who are pet owners have made legal or financial provisions for the care of their pet should something happen to them.

Adding to those facts, 52 percent of all the people over age 75 in the U.S. live alone. Many of them have dogs, cats or other pets sharing their lives.

If something happens to them, there is no spouse or partner to take over.

In the confusion that ensues after an illness, accident or death, the senior’s pet may get lost in the shuffle.

After father’s death, bereavement leave becomes ‘believement’ leave

After father’s death, bereavement leave becomes ‘believement’ leave

My father passed away Jan. 23 after a long, brave battle with Parkinson’s disease. He was 86. When he took his last breath, my mother and sister and his hospice aide were by his side.

Those of you who read my column may remember that I frequently wrote about my father and his journey. He was on hospice for six months. While his passing was expected, it was still a time when a myriad of emotions were running through our heads.

My other sister and I and our spouses flew home to New Hampshire the day after his death.

Our sister who lives locally was at my mother’s house when we arrived, as were her husband and their two children, who all work for the same employer.

It was probably one of the few times that three people all took the exact same bereavement leave.

Smart home devices can be a boon to seniors

Smart home devices can be a boon to seniors

My husband and I recently made an investment in a Google Home Mini (on sale for $39.95). I had heard about how this smart speaker that responds to your voice could be fun and useful.

You’ve probably heard about the Google Home and Amazon Echo devices, the latter commonly referred to as “Alexa.” Essentially, they’re smart speakers that respond to your voice for hands-free help around the house.

I selected a Google device because it runs on a Gmail account and I already have one of those set up. This 4-inch orb has become one of my new best friends.

From a practical standpoint, it has set wake-up alarms for me and timers for cooking, found my cellphone by calling it when it was lost in the house, and told me whether it would rain the day of my outdoor staff get-together. It also compiles my shopping list as I think of things I need during the week.

When CPR is needed, there’s no time to wait for professionals

When CPR is needed, there’s no time to wait for professionals
I’m embarrassed to admit it, but I really didn’t want to learn CPR. I always thought there would be someone more knowledgeable around if the need ever arose, and if I learned it I might be obliged to resuscitate someone.

 

I was disabused of that belief several years ago when I was attending a CPR and first-aid training session for employees of Senior Concerns in Thousand Oaks. Such training is mandatory because Senior Concerns is a licensed adult day care facility.

Our teacher asked us, “Who is the best person to perform CPR in an emergency?”

Being the Type A personality that I am, I immediately raised my hand and replied, “A doctor or a nurse.”

“Wrong,” the teacher said. “The best person to perform CPR in an emergency is you.”

When a loved one is on hospice, how does one prepare for the inevitable?

When a loved one is on hospice, how does one prepare for the inevitable?
It’s 2018 and I know I’ll have many great things to celebrate in the new year. However, I am fairly certain my father will not be around to celebrate 2019.

 

You see, my father’s been on hospice for six months.

I’m aware that the amount of time he has been on hospice is not directly related to the timing of his death. I keep reminding myself Art Buchwald lived for over a year after his initial hospice placement and wrote a book during that time.

It’s the other things that have been happening.

My father has lost his ability to stand or even move himself in bed. He’s incontinent. He sleeps almost all day long, and when he wakes, he is groggy and his eyes are closed.

Holidays, a good time to look for signs of elder abuse

Holidays, a good time to look for signs of elder abuse

My dog’s specialty vet closed her practice last week, a result of an elder experience that’s becoming far too commonplace in today’s world.

When I asked why she was shutting down, my vet told me she’d been struggling over the past year to deal with issues related to her aging mother. The problems had become too exhausting and frustrating, she said.

Her mother was declining mentally, and because she lives three hours away by plane, my vet had no idea of the extent of her ailment. It turns out the vet’s brother was writing checks to himself and having their mother, while in a state of cognitive impairment, sign them.


Experience shape seniors’ moral compass

Experience shape seniors’ moral compass
If you’re an older adult and recent news reports about the firing of media icons Bill O’Reilly, Matt Lauer, Charlie Rose and Garrison Keillor have rattled you, you’re not alone.

 I’d like you to read these two statements:

“Lance Armstrong won the Tour de France a record seven consecutive times.”

“Lance Armstrong was banned from sanctioned Olympic sports for life as a result of long-term doping offenses.”

Which of these facts carries greater weight when gauging Armstrong as a person?

I posed this question to a group of seniors in Calabasas recently. It didn’t surprise me that all but a couple chose the second statement.

Studies have shown that when judging strangers and rating their likability, seniors weigh negative information about moral character more heavily than information about their abilities or accomplishments.

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